The story starts as most of mine tend to start these days..... The silence was deafening.
And I chose to ignore it.
The silence was nice. I'll admit it. I liked it.
I walked around my house, casually unloading the dishwasher and picking up dirty sippy cups and broken toys. And it was quiet. Quiet, people. No "He touched me!". No "She took my firetruck!". No corralling and time-outs and explaining and, well, parenting. So, instead of looking into the backyard to see why they weren't smacking each other with hockey sticks and baseball bats and plastic babies (as is the norm around here), I let it go.
Don't judge. You would do the same.
SILENCE, remember?! It's a precious thing.
Then Peanut walked in the house, chomping away. I hadn't given them anything to snack on in a while, so warning bells immediately went out.
"Peanut, what is in your mouth?"
"YummmmYummmYummmmMmmm." she mumbled back, mouth full.
"Open up. What is that?! Oh.My.Gosh. Is that DOG FOOD?! Are you eating dog food?!"
It's at this point that Peanut opens her hands, hands filled with more dog food. I quickly grab it away before she can shove it in her mouth.
"Yeeeees." Bjorn slowly said.
"Uh huh! Yummmm!" Peanut chimed in excitedly.
"Why would you eat dog food?!" I asked.
Peanut tries to grab the dog food from me. "Yum yum yum!" she says. "Because my tummy said it wanted to eat dog food." Bjorn replies.
"Do you listen to everything your tummy tells you to do?"
"Yes. My tummy tells me not that it is full."
"You're full? How much did you eat?!"
"All of it." Bjorn said.
"All if it?! The whole bowl of dog food?!"
"No silly," Bjorn replies, because obviously if someone is being silly around here, it's me, "All of it that Dog left."
Then he spreads his arms, stretching them out wide like the rabbit in every one's favorite bedtime story. "THIS much!"
Being that he is 4, and has no concept of cups or ounces, inches or feet, I knew I would never truly know how much was eaten.
I remember reading once that it is an actual human job to taste test dog food. Somewhere out there is a person whose sole profession is to make sure that the dog food is fit for consumption.
I know two kids happy to volunteer for that position.