It seems as if the nights of not sleeping and the days of non-stop feedings, diaper changings and naps will never end. Then all of a sudden, you realize it has been almost 2 months since you stopped nursing. 5 months since she stopped waking in the night. Or, in other words, 5 months of uninterrupted sleep.
She's been walking for 2 (??) months, playing independently since she was able to hold a toy and eating food all by herself for almost 5 months.
And I think - where did the time go?
With the first baby - with Bjorn, life seemed stuck on pause. Hours took days to get through, and days, well . . . .days took months, and sometimes years. It was hard - so, so hard. Maybe because I was new at all this. Maybe because I didn't know any better.
Maybe just because it's hard.
But with the second one, I don't remember the hardships as much. I don't remember the nights I cried louder than she did, my tears those of desperation and exhaustion. I don't remember the frustrated days where she wouldn't nap, and wouldn't eat and would just whine and cling to me.
I don't think it consumes you as much with the second one. Because while you still have to tend to them and nurture these little babes through the difficult first year, you still have to teach and discipline and nurture and tend to that older little babe as well. Those difficult times don't seem to consume so much of you. They can't. If you were to let them overwhelm you as much as you did with the first babe, you would not survive motherhood. And right now it's all about survival.
So, it goes faster with the second babe.
I keep reminding myself of a piece of parenting advice a co-worker gave me. "The days are long, but the years are short." It sounds very similar to a phrase that got me and a high school best friend through our long years as adolescents. "This, too, shall pass."
And it does.
Whatever the troubles are, it will pass. Whatever the joys are, these, too, will pass. We have no choice but to live in the moment, with each moment that comes, for that truly is all we have.
So I won't look back on this past year, and it's trials and tribulations, it's happiness and it's joys. I will merely look forward to all the amazing, wonderful things I have in the future. To all those fantastic things the future holds for me, the Hubs, Bjorn and Peanut.
I will just say: It's been a great ride this year, Peanut. Happy Birthday, my-make-the-days-too-long-and-the-years-too-short baby. Happy First Birthday.
|Checking out her first gift - this one is from Bjorn|
|I think the tunnel is a hit!|
|Pre- Birthday Buffet Pig out!|
|After - Birthday Buffet Pig out!|