Thursday, December 2, 2010

An Arizona Christmas

As you may have noticed, I am not in the Christmas spirit lately. But I'm trying, so I hauled out the decor and waded through the millions of old cards. (Seriously, who needs to save those things?! Toss 'em!!)

But amidst the madness, I came across the Christmas card The Hubs and I sent in 2007, our first year in Arizona. I had composed my own Christmas poem - a 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, AZ style. enjoy!

An Arizona Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, and the weather's just great.
It still hasn't dropped below sixty-eight.
The stockings were hung on the cactus with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas knows we moved there.
We lounge in our swimsuits, just to keep cool
And lay outside to sun at the pool.

When just out front there arose such a howl
I jumped from my lawn chair to see what was afoul
Pushed up the window and turned off the fan
(For I try not to waste AC when I can).

I put on sunglasses and what did I see?
But a miniature sleigh pulled by eight coyote.
With a little old driver, so tan and so fit
I knew in a moment, it must be St. Nick!

As eager as horses, his coyotes pawed
The ground at their feet, as St. nick then called,
"To Tombstone, to Tempe, and to the Grand Canyon.
To Sedona, To Crown King and then up to Payson.
To the top of South Mountain, all the way to Prescott.
It's hot, but we're going and we just won't stop!"

With a tornado of dust and a slight flash of sun
The coyotes leapt to have them some fun.
For then, in an instant, I heard in the pool
The sound of eight coyotes there keeping cool.

I looked over my shades to see it and laugh
When St Nick too jumped in with one great big splash!
He was dressed in large swim trunks, Hawaiian they looked.
So tan was he that he seemed almost cooked.
His eyes - how they twinkled, his dimples - how merry!
His skin was like leather, his sunburn red cherry.

I smiled when I saw him, for he had found the right place
To put some of that color back into his face.
Then with a belly flop off of the side
He must have decided that it was now time.
And he smiled so sweetly and climbed out still dripping
To drink some Corona that I had been sipping.

He filled up our stockings, he finished our beer
And said that he had to "Git on out of here".
He still had some gifts for some good girls and boys
A few water guns and a slide as some toys.

So the coyotes they shook water from their backs
And climbed back in front of the sleigh with some packs
Of toys and good tidings and fun little things
That throughout this season they always would bring.

The sun was quite blinding, so I couldn't see
Just how they flew with those eight coyote.
But I heard him exclaim as he left with some kicks
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all of Phoenix!"


kderoll said...

Grams still has a copy of that - I believe on their refrigerator. And I am almost positive that we still have a copy on ours, or in the "magic everything drawer".

Anonymous said...

Twas The Night Before Christmas - In Arizona

by Walt Zientek

'Twas the night before Christmas,
Too hot for a blizzard.
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even the lizard!

With me in my cut-offs
And Mom in her tube-tops,
I'm sweating and sunburned
I pray that the temp drops!

A fat guy was taken
To the hospital today.
He was racing around
In a funny old sleigh!

Wearing red flannel
From head to his toes!
Delivering presents
All covered with bows.

We think the heat got him,
Caused him to fall
Off of our rooftop,
He bounced like a ball!

As the ambulance came,
I heard him yell,
"Forget Christmas out here,
It's hotter than HELL!"

Erinn said...

That is too funny, well done!

Lise said...

Love, love, LOVE it!

Mommy This and That said...

Spectacular!! I love it.

Mommy This and That said...

I forgot to mention, I also save all the cards I receive. I finally went through them and picked out the ones that I could make gift tags out of and decorate bags with. If you go to my twitpic stream on my site you can see the bags I made with some cards!

Amber Page Writes said...

mmmm...looking at the snowy white hell outside my window, I do believe I'd like to try an Arizona Christmas.

Fun stuff!