Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Motherhood: The Great Equalizer

In the book "Little Earthquakes" Jennifer Weiner writes (through her lead character) that she always thought "pregnancy was the great equalizer" where skinny women get fat and fat women are fat and finally there is no competition between the two.

Which we all know to be a load of bunk.

Pregnancy is not equal among women. In any way.

I gained 51 pounds. In the last two weeks a road map of purple and blue lines appeared across my belly and hips.

While a friend gained 30 pounds, had no such road map and can happily and easily still wear her old bikini.

My skin cleared up completely from the adult acne I was so accustomed to dealing with. My hair was thick and gorgeous - but the hair on my legs barely ever grew.

While a (different) friend had acne that took over her face and chest and didn't diminish until after she finished breastfeeding.

I didn't have a lick of morning sickness. We all know that there are thousands of women who do. Badly.

There is nothing fair about pregnancy. There is nothing equalizing about it.

Except. . . . . .

Now that I have what I know to be the most adorable, gregarious little boy E.V.E.R. I feel validated in a way that making lead in the school play could never do. I made him and he's pretty awesome, so, by default, that makes me pretty awesome.

That makes me feel equalized with those other moms.

Those moms who were beautiful and popular before and are beautiful and popular after (can you be popular at the age of 30?!?!).

While I was awkward and silly before and am awkward and silly still.

Because I don't care how "cool" they are - I care about how they got their littl'un to stop sucking her thumb or how littl'un liked his first day of school. I care about how they feel being a SAHM and I commiserate with how hard it is to find a sitter for date night. Or the right heels for date night. Or a friggin' time for date night.

Pregnancy may not be the great equalizer among women but it definitely leads to something that is.

Because when it comes to motherhood, at one time or another, we will all have Cheerios in our hair, spit up on our shirt and a poopy diaper leaking all over our brand new white capri's. And poop is a great equalizer.


Andrea and Jeff said...

SO TRUE! Great post!

Stef said...

I love it!! Isn't it true. Age difference only matters if you haven't had kids. The minute you have one, you are part of the club...it doesn't matter the age or stage of you kids, You. Are. In!