Sunday, July 25, 2010

My Son Can Beat Your Honor Student

My son is sooo smart.

(Chorus: How smart is he?)

He is so smart that English is not his first language.

Yes, he says dog, mama, daddy, and a few other randoms in English, but they are not his main form of communication.

My son knows Chinese.

Or maybe it's Vietnamese. I don't really know, being as I am not fluent in either. It is some kind of foreign, Asian language and when he is walking around the room on his little cell phone blabbering away, he only speaks in this language. I think he's brokering some major deals on electronics.

All I know, I'm taking him with me the next time I get my nails done. I know they are talking about me while they fix me up. (Yes, I bite my nails. Get over it and make me have pretty ones!)

My son is sooo smart.

(Chorus: How smart is he?)

He is so smart he got the Terrible Two's at 14 months.

While other babies wait until they are a whopping 24 months to throw themselves (and sippy cups and remotes and papers and. . . ) on the floor and scream as if someone is pulling out their toenails, my smarter-than-yours son has started doing that now. Yup, that's right. 10 months early for the Terrible Twos.

His favorite tantrums include asking for milk only to launch the cup across the room (preferably at the head of a parent or dog), silent scream with his face all scrunched up, and throw himself into the lap of the nearest person, screaming so loudly you expect tornado alarms to sound.

Don't you wish your kid was as smart as mine?

1 comment:

KLZ said...

I kind of want to start doing this stuff at restaurants. I will ask for milk, then hurl the glass across the room and proceed to cry.

They'll just assume I'm pregnant, right?