Step 1: Bitch and moan for months about not losing the baby weight, and gaining those 51 friggin' pounds while you were pregnant.
Step 2: Join a gym 8 months after having your baby.
Step 3: Over-schedule yourself so you never have time to use said gym.
Step 4: When baby is 11 months and 2 weeks old, get really really sick. Like so sick that you can't get out of bed for three days, swallowing water is impossible and when the doctor asks what is wrong, you just look at him with big eyes and gasp "Fix me. Please."
Step 5: Stay in bed for three days, only getting up to take another swig of hydrocodone (in liquid form because - remember? - your throat is so swollen you could never swallow a pill) and antibiotics.
Step 6: Arise from your dirty, sweaty sheets to find that you have dropped 8 pounds in three days and are now back to pre-baby weight.
Step 7: Put on pre-Preggo shorts that just last week could not be coaxed or tugged past your knees and do a happy dance that they slide on easily with - gasp - even a little room to spare.
Step 8: Vow to get really really insanely and disgustingly sick about once every three months. Just to stay in shape.
Step 9: Cancel gym membership.