Saturday, April 10, 2010
C'mon in - make yourself at home!
Hi y'all - c'mon in! Welcome to my chocolate mousse-filled slice of the American dream.
Excuse the mess. I have a 10 month old, a husband and a dog. This is about the cleanest you'll see this place. And those toys stacked up in a leaning tower next to the computer? Yeah, they're supposed to be there. Pottery Barn says it adds character to my decor.
Here, have a seat. Let me just clear off that unfolded laundry off the couch. . . . . . there. A clear spot for you to sit. Ummmm. . .wait a minute. Looks like we have an old spit up stain. Let's just scrub that for a minute and. . .
Ok. Now you can sit.
Sit back and relax.
What was that? Oh yeah, sure, put your feet up on my table. You don't even have to take off your shoes. If I made you un-shoe, then I would have to un-shoe and really, there is only so much a girl can think about.
Can I get you something to drink? We have anything a baby mama could want: water, apple juice, milk, beer, gin, vodka and margaritas mixed and chilled in the freezer.
Yes, I know it's only 10 o'clock in the morning, but I've already dealt with two baby tantrum, a mountain of laundry and dishes, a poop explosion worthy of the history books and I still didn't get to drink my coffee while it was hot.
Margaritas it is, then.
Frozen with salt on the rim. Just the way I like it, too. Cheers.
The kiddo just fell asleep, which means I have twenty-six minutes exactly until he wakes up. Unless I can pop in his room and start his Baby Lullabies CD over from the beginning. I'm like Austin Powers the way I can sneak around corners without discovery.
So tell me about yourself.
You want me to start? Sure. No problem. I've always been very good at talking about myself.
I'm a 28 year old, curly-haired, displaced Texan mama of the funnest, happiest baby boy. You don't believe me? Check this out!
See, told ya.
I'm not really a SAHM, but I'm not really a working mama, either. Kinda like Hannah Montana with the Best of Both Worlds. I'm a flight attendant, so while I do go to a job, I'm one of the lucky ones hardly working. Honestly, 99% of the time, the job is fun, easy and completely enjoyable. And, as an added perk, I usually only go to work about 7-8 days of the month. Which allows me 7 nights of uninterrupted sleep in a fancy hotel, well-equipped hotel gyms and spas and - this is the real splurge - as many books as I can read. That's right. A book. Cover to cover. Without interruption. It's a beautiful thing.
And I don't mean to brag or anything, but I got myself a pretty great husband, too. Where else could I find a man who likes the same things I do (football, camping, motorcycles and stupid movies)? So I forgive him that he doesn't like all of the great things in life (parking lot roller coasters, reading and tofu Chinese food). He can make me madder than hell, but also like a kid on Christmas morning who just got his red Ryder BB gun. It's a good mix.
I'm lucky that he's a pretty great dad, too.
There's very few things in life that I won't try, so if you're looking for a partner on your next adventure, think of me. Unless it's scuba diving. I think after you've tried something four times, and you still shoot up to the surface hyperventilating because you are - gasp - three feet under water, then maybe it's time to call it quits. But I'd love to try hang-gliding. . . . . .
This blog is mainly about my baby boy and my adventures in mamahood. I tried to have other blogs about my thoughts on politics and life in general, but I found that I barely had enough thoughts for one blog, much less two or three. And really, politics aren't that exciting. My kiddo is.
Sorry, I've been rambling, but there is so much to say, ya know? I'm not just-a-mom, just-a-wife or just-a-girl-who-blogs. I'm me. uniquely, nuttily, sometimes ramblin' me.
Ooops, the Bambino just woke up. Time just flew by and, of course, I forgot to repeat his CD.
Come back again. Anytime. My fridge is always stocked and my door is always open.
You'll just have to excuse the mess.