Wednesday, April 28, 2010
But apparently not much has changed in the way I think. I still think in silly and completely random tidbits. Here is my post from One Year Ago Today:
Brain Freeze: Tuesday, April 28, 2009
At every appointment in the last few months, Doc has pulled out a measuring tape and measured from the top of the uterus to the bottom. (Which really means just measuring the belly - all of it.)
I feel like I'm a blank wall and he's trying to find the proper placement to hang a picture. Or maybe that's my nesting instinct talking.
Being almost 35 weeks at the time, and being kicked to a pulp the night before by Ninja Bjorn, I asked him if he could tell what position Bjorn is in.
After pushing and prodding enough to give Bjorn a few more dimples, he said that Bjorn was head down (where it's supposed to be and hopefully won't go anywhere), back to the right and legs curled aroung the other side. Kinda like this. And, you know, in the fetal position.
And my first thought?
Since he's head-down, does all the blood go rushing to his head? Is it like standing on your head for more than ten minutes or eating a Sonic slushie too fast and getting brain freeze?
I didn't ask Doc, but I'm still kinda interested in the answer. . . . .
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
So when I saw that I got this:
I was stoked.
First of all, getting an award means that someone loves me. You love me, Amber. You really do. I always knew it.
Secondly, getting this award means that I don't have to think of a blog to post for today. That all the thousands of disjointed sentences that are rolling around in my head like kids on a road trip before car seats and seatbelts can remain in there for just another few days until I can figure out exactly what it is I'm trying to say.
Because this award is easy. All I gotta do, according to The Empress, is tell you 10 things about me you may not know. Honestly. Maybe some gross things. Mybe some you never wanted to know at all.
Oh, so you mean I just have to overshare? Done. This is blog-world, after all. That's what I do. And most of this honest (s)crap is out there anyways. . . .
I know none of this is life-changing stuff here, and I probably didn't tell you anything you didn't already know. But that's me. A non-life-changing, not-particularly-different-from-anyone-except-those-crazy-all-organic-germaphobe-moms kind of girl. In a nutshell.
If I knew then what I know now, #10 of honest scrap would have been completely different. So, here, for your viewing pleasure is my additional #11:
According to the rules, I have to tag some peeps and they have to be honest, too. You're all tagged. Even you. And you. And you and you and you.
Write it. Let the world know you and your quirks. Even if I did "forget" to mention some of the worst. . . . . (Hey - the rules only said to write 10 here and I got quite a few more than 10!)
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Then he decided to ship himself off to Grandma and Grandpa. Thinks they have cooler toys there.
If I'm such a good Mom, why does he keep trying to get away?!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Like walking around the living room coffee table, never letting go - just chasing around and around like a dog after its own tail.
Which Bjorn has been doing pretty much since he could stand.
According to me, myself and I, my baby isn't considered "walking" until he can step more than just one or two steps. All by myself. Not holding onto me, Daddy, the coffee table or the dog. All by himself.
Which means he began walking today.
Tonight, to be exact. Right in front of Daddy and I. We both saw it. We both were there. Amazing. (Get this - we even captured it on video. Twice.)
Half a dozen times he made it five or six steps, and one time he made it 14 steps. 14. That's alot of walkin' for a little boy who yesterday couldn't even do one.
I have a walker. A little boy who is growing up waaaaay too fast. Slow this train down!!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
But the most obvious, non-sentimental way?
I can now be completely ready (shower, shave, makeup, dressed) and out the door in twenty minutes.
Thanks, Bjorn. Your Daddy - and all the dinner reservations and party invites we will never, ever miss - thank you.
Monday, April 12, 2010
You can re-read about it here.
Immediately I was hooked on watching the movie. A blog by the same name as my weirdly named blog? How could that be?! And about a woman caught up in the midst of chaotic motherhood while trying to be a writer so she can keep some little semblance of sanity in her life? Whoa. . . . now this is getting weird.
Even weirder. . . . I drive a Volvo, too.
So, since I have a baby that doesn't enjoy being snuck into a movie theatre only to be shushed the whole time, I have waited patiently for Mother.hood to come out on DVD and the second it did, I rushed to my Netflix account to add it before someone else could get it.
Bjorn and I watched it Friday and I still don't have any clue why she named her blog the Bjorn Identity.
I hope that I don't disclose super-personal material just because it makes for funny comments.
The only time I have ever snapped at someone in a checkout line is not because they turned on me for being a 'hypocritical' NY Mom but because they made yet another comment about how fat I was when pregnant.
And although I love Uma Thurman ( The Truth About Cats and Dogs has always been one of my faves!), watching her in this movie really wanted to make me take a shower everyday, put on some fresh makeup and shove my feet into something other than my go-to Teva flip flops. Maybe it was just that the essence of a harried and rushed errand-running Mama was too accurate. But I don't want to look like that. And Uma Thurman is gorgeous and a movie star. I'm not even on the best of days, so without a shower and makeup. . . . well. . .it's not a pretty sight.
All in all, I wouldn't say it was the best movie. If you're a mom, you might want to skip this one. It is pretty much the busiest day in the life of you and me, and really, who wants to watch a movie about their day-to-day lives?
I just wish I knew why she used The Bjorn Identity. That's still bugging me.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Sounds like every college party I ever went to but with really great prize money.
(Ha - my sis-in-law and I once threw a party where we sprayed the trampoline with a hose and bounced on those large exercise balls - the ones used for crunches and stuff - playing chicken. Seemed like a good idea along with the three kegs. . . . . )
Anyways. . .
I want to nominate Bjorn for the show.
I keep telling him he should get a job already - at 10 months I was already working 30 hour weeks, but he thinks that he's going to coast through life on his good looks and charm and doesn't need a real job.
So this show would be perfect.
He can already unroll an entire roll of toilet paper in less than 30 seconds.
And empty a box of Kleenex in the blink of an eye.
While stuffing everything he can grab in his mouth before smiling and giving it all away.
I think he's a shoo-in.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Hi y'all - c'mon in! Welcome to my chocolate mousse-filled slice of the American dream.
Excuse the mess. I have a 10 month old, a husband and a dog. This is about the cleanest you'll see this place. And those toys stacked up in a leaning tower next to the computer? Yeah, they're supposed to be there. Pottery Barn says it adds character to my decor.
Here, have a seat. Let me just clear off that unfolded laundry off the couch. . . . . . there. A clear spot for you to sit. Ummmm. . .wait a minute. Looks like we have an old spit up stain. Let's just scrub that for a minute and. . .
Ok. Now you can sit.
Sit back and relax.
What was that? Oh yeah, sure, put your feet up on my table. You don't even have to take off your shoes. If I made you un-shoe, then I would have to un-shoe and really, there is only so much a girl can think about.
Can I get you something to drink? We have anything a baby mama could want: water, apple juice, milk, beer, gin, vodka and margaritas mixed and chilled in the freezer.
Yes, I know it's only 10 o'clock in the morning, but I've already dealt with two baby tantrum, a mountain of laundry and dishes, a poop explosion worthy of the history books and I still didn't get to drink my coffee while it was hot.
Margaritas it is, then.
Frozen with salt on the rim. Just the way I like it, too. Cheers.
The kiddo just fell asleep, which means I have twenty-six minutes exactly until he wakes up. Unless I can pop in his room and start his Baby Lullabies CD over from the beginning. I'm like Austin Powers the way I can sneak around corners without discovery.
So tell me about yourself.
You want me to start? Sure. No problem. I've always been very good at talking about myself.
I'm a 28 year old, curly-haired, displaced Texan mama of the funnest, happiest baby boy. You don't believe me? Check this out!
See, told ya.
I'm not really a SAHM, but I'm not really a working mama, either. Kinda like Hannah Montana with the Best of Both Worlds. I'm a flight attendant, so while I do go to a job, I'm one of the lucky ones hardly working. Honestly, 99% of the time, the job is fun, easy and completely enjoyable. And, as an added perk, I usually only go to work about 7-8 days of the month. Which allows me 7 nights of uninterrupted sleep in a fancy hotel, well-equipped hotel gyms and spas and - this is the real splurge - as many books as I can read. That's right. A book. Cover to cover. Without interruption. It's a beautiful thing.
And I don't mean to brag or anything, but I got myself a pretty great husband, too. Where else could I find a man who likes the same things I do (football, camping, motorcycles and stupid movies)? So I forgive him that he doesn't like all of the great things in life (parking lot roller coasters, reading and tofu Chinese food). He can make me madder than hell, but also like a kid on Christmas morning who just got his red Ryder BB gun. It's a good mix.
I'm lucky that he's a pretty great dad, too.
There's very few things in life that I won't try, so if you're looking for a partner on your next adventure, think of me. Unless it's scuba diving. I think after you've tried something four times, and you still shoot up to the surface hyperventilating because you are - gasp - three feet under water, then maybe it's time to call it quits. But I'd love to try hang-gliding. . . . . .
This blog is mainly about my baby boy and my adventures in mamahood. I tried to have other blogs about my thoughts on politics and life in general, but I found that I barely had enough thoughts for one blog, much less two or three. And really, politics aren't that exciting. My kiddo is.
Sorry, I've been rambling, but there is so much to say, ya know? I'm not just-a-mom, just-a-wife or just-a-girl-who-blogs. I'm me. uniquely, nuttily, sometimes ramblin' me.
Ooops, the Bambino just woke up. Time just flew by and, of course, I forgot to repeat his CD.
Come back again. Anytime. My fridge is always stocked and my door is always open.
You'll just have to excuse the mess.