Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Yesterday

** Written yesterday while waiting oh-so-patiently to see a college advisor**

All this time I've been deceiving myself.

For some reason, these past few years I have convinced myself that I was a cool kid.

I know I wasn't one in high school. I'm pretty sure I wasn't even one in college.

But I've convinced myself that RIGHT NOW I am a cool kid.

My afternoon trip to a college advising & enrollment office has changed my mind.

See, I do things like dress up a little (cute heels, jeans, a nice sweater) to see an advisor. It makes me feel as if I'm being taken more seriously. I bring my college transcripts and a notebook where I have jotted down my prepared questions.

I didn't roll out of bed, throw on my sweatpants and roll into the adviser's office at 2 pm stinking of booze and wearing last nights makeup.

I am so not a cool kid.

In fact, most people in this advising office aren't actually kids. Most HAVE kids. And most of these kids are running loose around the office. I don't remember it being like this at Texas Tech.

Then again, I never changed my major. The only time I saw an advisor was to add to a double-major.

Once again, sooooo not a cool kid!

So maybe this is what an adviser's office looks like.

Sigh. . . .

Ok, the average wait time is an hour and a 1/2 to see an advisor - no appointments, just first come first serve. The college is an 1/2 hour from my house and I have 2 1/2 hours until I pick up my baby from his first day of daycare.

Therefore I have 30 minutes of leeway. Guess I'm not getting a whole lot of downtime, and I was really looking forward to spending some moments by myself on my first baby free day in a while.

I guess not so much.

I didn't want to disturb everyone by bringing my baby into a learning environment. Apparently the Dad behind me with a screeching 3 year old and a crying 6 month old had no such qualms.

********

So after yesterday's visit to the admissions office, and taking a good, long look at my future schedule and The Hub's schedule, we have decided to postpone my schooling. It will take about 3 years of full-time school. That, combined with a baby and full-time (or even part-time) work doesn't really add up for us right now.

Which is ok.

I've already put it off for 6 years since graduating from Tech, so what's another year or so? Until then, I'm going to concentrate on continuing my education myself - tapes, DVD's, public groups. If I do that, I might not even need to go back to school. It's all about the networking. And I DO already have a bachelor's degree. That should be enough should I ever decide to quit my current cakewalk job.

As for Bjorn's first day of daycare?

I didn't cry. Not a bit. I took him to the house, stayed for about 40 minutes to chat with the provider and leave my information.

And then I left.

It was a little lonely. I'm used to talking to him all the time. In the car. In line at the store. And I had to stop myself multiple times from being the crazy lady talking to herself!!

The provider called me once to let me know that he was sleeping, and that he was doing well. Which was pretty nice of her to do.

I picked Bjorn up and the second I walked into the room, he burst into tears and reached out his arms. I just laughed and gave him a little cuddle. I can't expect him to be ok with all of this on the first day. Just because I was ready for a little free time doesn't mean that he is.

So this week I will drop him off for another half day. And next week for two full days. Then, hopefully, he will be signed up for daily daycare and I can use it whenever I need it (no more than twice a week, hopefully, though).

But I know this is the right thing to do. I started to get a little upset last night. Bjorn had come from daycare, played for about an hour, ate dinner with us, played for another half hour and then fell fast asleep. Was that all the time I was going to get with him? But I'm used to all day everyday, and I'm just going to have to get used to some days only having a half day. After all, that's what The Hubs gets with him and they have a great relationship.

So this is a good thing. At least for now it seems to be working out just fine.

3 comments:

Tamara said...

Andi, I'm bummed I didnt get back to you yet from when you called yesterday. I was just trying to be sure I had enough time to spend really talking about it, and since it was my sister's last day in Denver, I thought I'd call you back today. But now I guess how I do school is irrelevant. Oh well. It was so good to hear your voice, even just on a voice mail. Love to you!

John, Becky and Olivia said...

You are a cool kid! Besides, if you're not, then I am DEFINITELY not.

Glad that day care went well. It sounds like B was behaving like most other well-behaved kids. You're his release!

The work days can be rough, I'm not gonna lie. Most days I get about 2 waking hours with O including dinner and bath time. And a lot of times she is whiny and crabby from being tired from her active day.

But the other days (and the weekends) when she is laughing and in an awesome mood totally make up for it! It's going to be awesome for all of you.

AndBabyWillMake4 said...

Nothing like a kick in the gut to realize you aren't cool, right? I too fool myself into thinking I am when deep down I know I am far from it!

Sorry to hear about the school plans but I am sure you will forge ahead and figure it all out!