Saturday, January 30, 2010

Baby Walmart

Have you ever looked at someone on the street and thought to yourself 'Now, that's a Walmart person!!'

Whether it be for the state of their teeth (or lack thereof), their clothes (or, again, lack thereof) or their makeup/purse/car/boyfriend, we all know who these people are. And if you don't, you can go to People of Walmart to find out exactly what I'm talking about. (Or just to make you feel better about yourself. After that Miss America contest tonight, I needed a confidence boost. Seriously, have any of those women had kids???)

But today my son could easily have been a baby of Walmart.

After a morning of family fun playing at the dog park and driving aimlessly around town searching for a farmers market, Bjorn decided to drink his entire 6 oz. bottle. And then throw it all up in one quick, swift movement.

All over himself. And his car seat. And the car.

He missed the dog. And he missed The Hubs and I. But we both sat there, shell-shocked, watching the milk and peaches drip-drip-drip from his shirt to pool in the car seat.

And then Bjorn smiled.

Obviously he was not hurt at all. Not after spilling the beans, so to speak.

So, The Hubs and I were on Puke Patrol - him with the car seat, and me with the Babe. (I got the better end of that deal!)

But since I am such a great mother and always prepared for every situation, we had an extra set of clothes for Bjorn, right? Wrong.

We had an extra sweatshirt. Which he wore, on top of his birthday suit and a diaper. Classic Baby of Walmart look. (And, no, unfortunately, I do not have a picture. Where is my camera when I really need it?)

But the story doesn't end there. Oh no, it gets better.

The Hubs goes to work, and Bjorn and I decide to head out to Joann's Fabrics to take care of that 50% off coupon burning a hole in my pocket. We have a great time of cute ol' Grannies stopping to tell him just how cute he is. Then, as we are nearing the end of the trip, the inevitable.

Puke. All over his shirt. Not spit-up, people. Not a little dribble. Puke. Lots of it.

And since I again was so prepared that I did not have any extra clothes, I took off his shirt.

And let him spend the rest of the quick trip in nothing but sweatpants and a pair of white socks.

Put a beer in one hand and a remote in the other and you wouldn't have been able to tell him from Al Bundy.

Friday, January 29, 2010

And the Mother of the Year Award goes to. . . . .

I am so not winning the Mother of the Year Award this year.


Because I am not working, I am at home and my kiddo is not here. Yup, that's right. I took him into day care even though I am not flying the friendly skies today.

Why would I do such a horrible thing? Why would a wonderful mother like me decide to pack her kiddo up, drive to someone else's house, kiss Bjorn sweetly, tell him 'Mama will be back in 7 hours!' and then drive back home?!

Because I had my Swap It If You Got It Clothing Swap last night, and the house is covered in clothes, shoes, purses, and all sorts of snacky foods and drinks. Oh yeah, and because I drank way more than I am used to (here's to not really breast feeding anymore!!!), Mama has a little bit of a headache.

Ok, a big honking headache. And my tummy isn't doing too well, either.

And I figure - hey, we pay for a full week of daycare even if we don't use it. Might as well use it when I need it. Even if it's only because I need a break and a nap.

So I'll be returning my Mother of the Year crown now. You can give it back to me next week when I'm up all night with him and don't lose my patience. Deal?

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Fussy McSnotterson

So I left for the Big D on Friday to see my family and friends.

It was a great weekend: a baby shower, a night out with the bro and sis in law, and lots of playing the Wii, watching movies and just generally hanging out with parents, sibs and friends.

Then, Monday - a day before I was supposed to head back on a 4 hour flight cross country to go home, my little boy became increasingly fussy, snotty (yellowish) and coughy. And when I say 'increasingly fussy', it's a sugar cookie way of saying the waking-the-house-up-at-4-am-for-two-hours-while-he-screams kind of fussy.


I took him to an Urgent Care and - guess what? - after only four days in day care, he now has an ear infection. Hmmmm. . . coincidence?!

We were told to absolutely NOT fly him back home, so Bjorn and I had an extra bonus day in Dallas hanging with the peeps, while the Hubs flew home to go back to work. Here we are, Wednesday morning, and after almost 48 hours of steroids, antibiotics and baby Tylenol, he woke up this morning with a barely (clear) snotty nose, a smile on his face, and two - count 'em two - new big ol' honkers of teeth sticking out.

Now he not only has a sliver of something poking up from the bottom, but the whole freakin' bottom of two fat molars poking down from the top.

No wonder he's snotty. No wonder he's fussy.

No wonder I haven't slept in a week.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Lock up your daughters - he's on the loose!


As promised, Bjorn's first crawl!!!

Ignore the un-washed, un-makeuped Wicked Witch in the lower left. Mornings are a bitch.


Yesterday was my first day back at work. It was just a quick trip - I left mid-morning and came back late in the evening, so I didn't have to leave Bjorn overnight yet. But I realized that I had forgotten a few things about life as a flight attendant.

I forgot to give Daddy Bjorn's daily schedule. Which turned out not to matter at all, for he made his own schedule that worked just fine.

I forgot that your life is as big or as small as you make it. You can make it as small as a pea in a pod or as big as Texas, as long as you're happy. And I've always liked my life like I like my fries - super sized.

I forgot how it felt to exchange in adult only banter. It's pretty much the same as baby banter but with alot more poop jokes.

I forgot that honey roasted peanuts have always been my weakness.

I forgot that trees really do look like broccoli from way up here.

I forgot that problems seem to disappear at about 25,000 feet.

I forgot that being back at work means fitting (or, actually, not fitting) into my work clothes. Time to step up the cardio!

I forgot that even the most comfortable of shoes aren't comfortable after 9 hours on your feet.

I forgot how great airport food can smell. . . . and how expensive it is. That better be one damn good $15 burger!

I forgot that Daddy is just as good as Mama at bathing, rocking, feeding and loving. He's got it handled and I should let him handle it.

I forgot that the hardest part of being a flight attendant is the driving away. If I can make it to the airport, the rest of the trip is just a very long way to get home.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Here I come, world!

He is totally on the move.

We got the crawl on video to be posted soon. . . when I figure out how to work the camcorder. . .

for now though, I have outlets to cover, breakables to put away, and alcohol to drink move to a higher cabinet.


Thursday, January 14, 2010

You can call me Cheap. Just call me!

Last week I decided to plan something I call the 'Great Annual Swap-It-If-Ya-Got-It Clothing Swap'. It pretty much is what it sounds like - I invited all my friends (and their friends, and theirs, etc) to come over with as many old clothes, shoes, jewelry and purses as they can carry. Amid cocktails, appetizers and - I'm sure- plenty of good gossip, we will delve into everyone else's trash to find ourselves a little treasure.

It's planned for two weeks from now.

Talking to a friend of mine about it, she asked how I thought of the idea. '"Well, I'm pretty cheap. I don't like to spend too much on myself, but I need a new wardrobe and I have alot of nice things I don't wear anymore."

To which she replied, "Yeah, you are really cheap."

Sometimes it sucks when people agree with me.

I don't think I'm cheap so much as unmaterialistic and thrifty. I have no problem with shopping at garage sales (I once found a $400 coffeemaker for $20!!!), and I really don't need things. I would rather have a vacation than a new TV, a trip to the zoo than a new outfit and a few nice dinners than the latest Apple Ipod product.

So, because I'm thrifty, I decided to tackle the project of making my own baby food.

I mean, seriously, have you seen the prices on these baby food jars?? ONE jar is $.79 - $1.49. And my chunk-a-hunk of a baby boy eats two to three jars a day. Sometimes more. Really. He loves his food. That adds up to about $3-$4 a day for his food, or $120 a month!

While making my own baby food has probably cost me $10 a month. And I still have tons of food left. A savings of . . . . well. .. . I don't really know math well, and percentages and fractions continuously trip me up. It's a big frickin' savings is all I know.

It's pretty easy.

I started with apples. When they were on sale, I bough ta 3 lb bag of apples for $1.99. Prep the apples by washing, peeling and coring them. Cut the apples in 1 inch cubes and place in a microwavable bowl. With a bit of water in the bottom of the bowl, microwave for 5 minutes. Then place in a food processor and puree to the desired consistency. (I made it really soupy at first, but realized that Bjorn likes is a little chunkier.) Add water to make it soupier. Use less water to make it thicker.

After pureed, pour into plain old ice cube trays (I found mine for $1 for 4 at the dollar store.) and freeze overnight. When frozen, put in freezer bags.

Each "ice cube" is about 2 1/2 tablespoons, or one baby food jar.

So, my first bag of apples gave me about four ice cube trays full, or 80 ice cubes. What cost me $1.99 would have cost me over $63 had I bought premade jars of food.

Not sounding so cheap now, am I? Nope, now I'm sounding smart. Intelligent. Beautiful, even. (Thought I would throw that one in there for good measure.)

And it is so easy, y'all! Peas, green beans, pears, butternut & acorn squashes. Carrots, peaches, sweet potatoes, apples. All can be cooked in the microwave, pureed and froze. All for pennies. Pennies!!

Every morning, I take two-three cubes of fruit and 4-6 cubes of veggies from the freezer to defrost in the fridge. For breakfast, Bjorn gets fruit with some rice cereal or oatmeal, for lunch he eats veggies and for dinner he eats veggies and rice cereal. And throughout the day, his requisite servings of formula and breast milk.

I've said hundreds of dollars already, and I'm giving my kiddo good food. Not organic (look, I said I was saving money here and organic is EXPENSIVE! And, honestly - I don't really care about organic fruits and veggies. As long as it's fresh, I don't care if I have to wash a little dirt off it.) but good quality food like the stuff The Hubs and I eat. Works for me.

Even if it does make me thrifty. Frugal. Cheap.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

He almost makes me want to stay a SAHM. . . . almost. . . .

Oh I am such a bad Mommy blogger!

I long to be part of the cool Moms Who Blog club, but seriously people, how in the hell do you have the time?

When Bjorn was first here, I thought 'Man, this is a piece of cake!' Of course, that was when all he did was eat and sleep. Even if he did eat every 2 1/2 hours for 45 minutes each time. That still gave me plenty of time before he woke up.

Now, though? Totally different story.

This kid doesn't sleep. Try two naps today - one at noon and one at 4. Both for only 30 minutes. And when he's not sleeping, he's on the move and has to be watched constantly.

Sigh. Again. This Mom thing is totally not for the weak.

But since The Hubs is at work (still and it is 9 pm!) and the babe is sleeping, I thought I would update ya. But I won't waste your - or my - very precious free time, so you're getting the abbreviated Day in the Life of Me. . .

* Two weeks ago we found an in home daycare that we liked. Took Bjorn there for two days - one 1/2 day and one full day. We then pulled him out of that daycare on the second day. Long story short: They had never met The Hubs and when he came to pick B up, the daycare provider said 'Are you B's Dad?' and when he said yes, she just handed him over. No ID check (as they promised). Hubs never told her his name, nor did he say anything before she asked him if he was B's Dad. That could have been any man who walked up to the door. I imagine the worst - some strange man saying 'Umm. I'm here to pick up my son.' 'Oh, you must be B's dad. Here ya go!' Not ok. Sooooo not ok.

* We then started our daycare search all over again and this time found two - count 'em two - in-home daycares that we love!! We called references, checked them out online and went to interview at their home. LOVE them both, but we had to pick only one, so we picked the provider with very little adult people skills (It was like carrying on a conversation with a rock. And not a cool rock like a Pet Rock. Nope. Just a rock.), but great baby skills. Bjorn starts next Tuesday.

* He has a tooth!! Yup, that's right - an honest-to-God baby tooth. Ok. . . so maybe it's not a whole tooth. But I can definitely see a little bit of white sticking out from his bottom gums. I would love to show you a picture, but it is absolutely impossible to see it for more than a millionth of a second before B sticks his tongue over it and scratches my eyeballs out with his too-long nails. (Someone really should cut those things!!) He also gets this super human baby strength and it is impossible to pry his jaws open to look again.

* He is very much threatening to crawl. I say that he has crawled already, but The Hubs says its not a crawl until he can go forward, not backward. He is verrry close to crawling, so it is a very good thing that we ordered our video camera this week. It's in the mail, and hopefully will get here in time for the big crawl-o-rama!

* On a side note about crawling and daycares, I got a very good perspective from a fellow flight attendant Mommy of a seven month old. She said that she was very upset about leaving her babe with someone else, because she might miss out on some of those first-time milestone moments. To which her mother-in-law said 'So what? He'll do it again!' I paused and decided that I was going to take that view also. That way I don't have to feel quite so guilty about wanting to go to work. And she's right, you know? Sure, that first step is a big deal, and it would be great to be there for it, but I'll see his second. And third. Until I can't even count them anymore. The glass is always half full, right?

* Thanks to the Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents and Santa, Bjorn cleaned up good for Christmas. He doesn't need toys for at least another six months. Which, coincidentally, is when he turns 1 and will need more presents to celebrate. His fave toys for now? A stacking ring set, a saw from his baby tool box, a baby laptop, blocks, "his" car keys, his Bubba teeth pacifier and, of course, the fleece TTU blanket he sleeps with every night.

It seems there should be more to update, but I think that's it. He's happy (well, actually, he's teething, so he's pretty damn fussy and irritable!), he's healthy and he's growing bigger, cuter and stronger everyday. I call him Popeye. I swear he has little baby muscles!!

Have a great week and I'll try to be a better Mommy Blogger this week. . . . . we'll see how that goes!!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


** Written yesterday while waiting oh-so-patiently to see a college advisor**

All this time I've been deceiving myself.

For some reason, these past few years I have convinced myself that I was a cool kid.

I know I wasn't one in high school. I'm pretty sure I wasn't even one in college.

But I've convinced myself that RIGHT NOW I am a cool kid.

My afternoon trip to a college advising & enrollment office has changed my mind.

See, I do things like dress up a little (cute heels, jeans, a nice sweater) to see an advisor. It makes me feel as if I'm being taken more seriously. I bring my college transcripts and a notebook where I have jotted down my prepared questions.

I didn't roll out of bed, throw on my sweatpants and roll into the adviser's office at 2 pm stinking of booze and wearing last nights makeup.

I am so not a cool kid.

In fact, most people in this advising office aren't actually kids. Most HAVE kids. And most of these kids are running loose around the office. I don't remember it being like this at Texas Tech.

Then again, I never changed my major. The only time I saw an advisor was to add to a double-major.

Once again, sooooo not a cool kid!

So maybe this is what an adviser's office looks like.

Sigh. . . .

Ok, the average wait time is an hour and a 1/2 to see an advisor - no appointments, just first come first serve. The college is an 1/2 hour from my house and I have 2 1/2 hours until I pick up my baby from his first day of daycare.

Therefore I have 30 minutes of leeway. Guess I'm not getting a whole lot of downtime, and I was really looking forward to spending some moments by myself on my first baby free day in a while.

I guess not so much.

I didn't want to disturb everyone by bringing my baby into a learning environment. Apparently the Dad behind me with a screeching 3 year old and a crying 6 month old had no such qualms.


So after yesterday's visit to the admissions office, and taking a good, long look at my future schedule and The Hub's schedule, we have decided to postpone my schooling. It will take about 3 years of full-time school. That, combined with a baby and full-time (or even part-time) work doesn't really add up for us right now.

Which is ok.

I've already put it off for 6 years since graduating from Tech, so what's another year or so? Until then, I'm going to concentrate on continuing my education myself - tapes, DVD's, public groups. If I do that, I might not even need to go back to school. It's all about the networking. And I DO already have a bachelor's degree. That should be enough should I ever decide to quit my current cakewalk job.

As for Bjorn's first day of daycare?

I didn't cry. Not a bit. I took him to the house, stayed for about 40 minutes to chat with the provider and leave my information.

And then I left.

It was a little lonely. I'm used to talking to him all the time. In the car. In line at the store. And I had to stop myself multiple times from being the crazy lady talking to herself!!

The provider called me once to let me know that he was sleeping, and that he was doing well. Which was pretty nice of her to do.

I picked Bjorn up and the second I walked into the room, he burst into tears and reached out his arms. I just laughed and gave him a little cuddle. I can't expect him to be ok with all of this on the first day. Just because I was ready for a little free time doesn't mean that he is.

So this week I will drop him off for another half day. And next week for two full days. Then, hopefully, he will be signed up for daily daycare and I can use it whenever I need it (no more than twice a week, hopefully, though).

But I know this is the right thing to do. I started to get a little upset last night. Bjorn had come from daycare, played for about an hour, ate dinner with us, played for another half hour and then fell fast asleep. Was that all the time I was going to get with him? But I'm used to all day everyday, and I'm just going to have to get used to some days only having a half day. After all, that's what The Hubs gets with him and they have a great relationship.

So this is a good thing. At least for now it seems to be working out just fine.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Another first!

First day at the daycare for the kiddo.

He only went for a 1/2 day - 4 hours.

He was incredibly clingy, didn't cry much and fell asleep super early after all that kiddo fun and stimulation.

About right, dontcha think?

BTW - more to follow later, but seeing as Bjorn is out earlier than usual, I'm spending some much needed down time with the Hubs. You understand, right?

Friday, January 1, 2010

A New Year, a New Appetite

I didn't make any New Years Resolutions this year.

I really don't see the big deal about New Years. Although I love all the parties, drinking and general chaos that goes along with New Years Eve celebrations, I don't understand why so many people place significance of 'starting over' or a 'new beginning'.

Isn't every day a new beginning?

Isn't every day a chance to start over?

Isn't every day a day in which you can hope for new things, wish for something better and work towards that one, specific, important goal?

So I don't believe in making New Years resolutions. Everyday I make resolutions.

And, yes, everyday I break them. Just like most New Years Resolutions. But I just make them again tomorrow.

But, in honor of 'beginning anew' because, it is a new year and a new month and a new day, I do have some firsts already.


* I ate, for the first time in 28 years, an egg in a different way than scrambled. (And hard-boiled on top of a salad.) I was over medium. And I liked it. Alot. I can't believe I have never tasted anything but scrambled before. What else have I been missing?

*So I tried steak for the first time, too. The Hubs made chili out of steak instead of ground beef. It was delicious. Creamy, and melted on my tongue the second I tasted it. Yum.

*And since I was so busy trying new foods, I thought it was only right that Bjorn did, too. So, after 10 hours of fighting with him, The Hubs finally got him to take 3 1/2 ounces of breast milk from a bottle. Yes, from a bottle. Thank God. And another 1/2 ounce of formula. We have three days until I take him to a half-day at daycare and six days until he goes for a full day. Think we can make it so it's not a fight, but a normal way to eat, by then?

Happy New Year everyone. May each day bring something new and exciting. And may you be as excited about your prospects and your future every day as you are today.