Thursday, August 27, 2009

Random Thoughts

I'm too tired and brain-dead today to try and write a blog that has a beginning, body and ending. So you're getting lazy-man's way of blogging. Enjoy. I'll be back in proper form when I've (yawn) slept for a really long time.

*Bjorn has been sleeping through the night again. (Hooray!) Unfortunately, Mama has taken to waking up every three hours in a panic. These panics range from "Did I leave the stove on after dinner?" (To which I rush up and check. And no, I didn't.) and "Is he still breathing?" (Where I go in Bjorn's room and put my hand on his tummy to feel him breathe in and out.) to "Am I ever going to find another job that I love?" (Which really has no answer so I should stop worrying about it but I can't.). This explains why I'm brain-dead and exhausted, but has little to do with Bjorn.

*Bjorn is big. A chunky monkey. A chubby butt. With thunder thighs and chipmunk cheeks. At the last doctor's appt, he weighed in at 13 lbs 14 oz. Of course, they didn't have me take his diaper or clothes off, so I'm hoping that accounts for at least 6 oz. I can't imagine a 14 pound 3 month old. Doc says he is completely healthy and right on track for his height. And at least we know he is eating well.

*I am turning into one of those mother's I never wanted to be. I called the pediatrician twice in four days, and took Bjorn in to see them both times. Both times it was nothing. (Although, to be perfectly fair to me, when I called the ped, it was just to ask them a question and after answering their questions, they told me I needed to bring him in.) The first time was for his sunburn, when really I just wanted to know if I could put aloe vera on it to soothe him. They told me he might have overheated and I should bring him in immediately. Then told me that he was perfectly fine. The second time was because I found weird stuff in his poop (yes, I analyze his shit) and wanted to know if it was normal. They said it wasn't, and to bring him in, then when I did, told me I was overreacting.

*I want a new pediatrician. Why? Read above. And they take about two-five hours to call back when all I want is a quick answer to a simple question. If they're too busy for me, Bjorn's too important to wait for them.

*I am going to start the South Beach Diet tomorrow. Pretty hard stuff considering that at this time I consist completely on peanut butter sandwiches (not allowed), fruit (not allowed), cereal (not allowed) and creamer (not allowed) in my coffee (yay - allowed!). But if this can take off 8-10 pounds in two weeks, then I can have my Special K and Orowheat Bread back. And I can be back in my real jeans just in time for my BF's bachelorette party. (And for all of you worried because I'm breastfeeding, don't be. I'll still be consuming lots of good-for-you calories, like veggie omelets, string cheese and nuts for snacks, salads filled with veggies and beans and some grilled meat and veggies for dinner. That doesn't sound too hard!)

*I'm applying for jobs. Not because I don't want to continue the flight attendant thing - I do. But I can't see how we can do that full-time with the Hubs work schedule and day care. So, I'm looking for something full time I can do here in town. I have found some very interesting and exciting leads and I really hope one of them pans out. I can't believe how many cool jobs there are out there!

*I am not a stay-at-home-mom type. I think it's important to find this out for yourself and be ok with it. I always thought I would be a great SAHM. Soon I realized that I have more patience if I can leave for a few hours. Granted, going shopping for a few hours isn't the same as working for eight, but I would like to do something intellectual everyday. Get out and be in a fast-paced world. A happy mama is a good mama and this mama needs to be out in the real world. That doesn't make me a bad person, no matter what some SAHMs may think. To each their own. Including you.

*Bjorn and Daddy have a special bond. Thank God for that. Daddy plays with him and does baby exercises with him and never ever forgets to make him do his tummy time like Mama does. He also does lots of things that Mama doesn't do, like letting him "go redneck" (without a shirt - just his diaper). Once he even let him lick bacon.

That's our life in a nutshell. I'll be back soon. Either with some highly loaded caffeine or with a comfy ol' pillow in hand. Sweet dreams.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Masked Boy of Phoenix!

After the scorpion day, I moved the furniture in Bjorn's room so that the crib was as far as possible from any walls or windows the little monsters could crawl up.

When I did this, I didn't think to look for any other varmints or diseasors that could hurt my perfect little boy.

You know, like the sun.

See, it was such a pretty day today (as it normally is in Arizona), that I opened the blinds to let in the light while he was sleeping. He looked so cute, I even took pictures of him during and after his nap.

Notice anything different about these pics?

Maybe the mask it looks like he's wearing?

Yeah, that would be from the sun coming through the open blinds. Good one, Mama.

He was crying uncontrollably after his nap, so I called the pediatrician (for whom I had to leave a message) to ask about medication I could give a 2 month old infant for a sunburn. After fussing with Bjorn for about 20 minutes, I fed him. That usually calms him down. I'm a good Mama - using food already as bribery to stop crying!

Finally, after an hour and a half, the pediatrician called me back. She asked a few questions.

"Was he fussier than normal?" Yes, but then I fed him and he seems ok now.
"Is the area still red?" Nope. Its a little bit pink, but it has really faded since he first woke up.
"Did he have any projectile vomiting/spitup?" Well, now that you mention it, yes he did. But he's a very spitty-uppy baby.

Her response? "Take him to Urgent Care tonight."

She was concerned because of the spitup/vomiting, that the sun coming in from the window might have made him overheat.

Well, I had been in the middle of running a bath for him because he had vomited all over him and me multiple times, as well as pooped all over me. (I really need to learn how to put on a diaper!!!) No bath for him now, though. We were going to the Doc immediately!

I called Daddy, pulling him out of a work meeting, and he met us up there. By the time we got to the Urgent Care, Bjorn was laughing and smiling like he normally does in the evening.

Doc pronounced Bjorn healthy (his exact words were "He's a chunky monkey"), with no fever and no distress. The sun didn't give him a sunburn as I thought, but had just heated his face a little. Kind of like when you're out working in the yard and your face gets all red from the heat, but after an hour inside the air conditioning, you're back to normal. And since he is a very spitty baby, his projectile-ness tonight may have just been from too much excitement (the crying spurt he had) or too much food (mama feeds him well!). He was fine.

Mama, on the other hand, needs a stiff drink.

Bjorn to be wild!

I don't normally put pics of Bjorn on this blog; I have a special website filled to the brim with his pictures and videos. But just to show off my perfect little boy a little more. . . .

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

It's not just Baby Proofing anymore. . . .

When Daddy and I found out we were pregnant, there were very specific things each of us wanted.

I wanted a glider, a Texas Tech mobile and a super-double-action Medela breast pump.

He wanted a baby Steelers jersey, a baby Texas Tech jersey and special scorpion-proof feet for Bjorn's crib.

It turns out that Daddy is smarter than I give him credit for.

This is what the crib "feet" look like:

Essentially, these are just fancy bowls with a felt middle. Apparently scorpions can crawl up anything but glass. And these are specially reinforced because ordinary glass would break under the pressure of the crib. These glass bowls don't break and still prevent scorpions from attacking your child. Win-win situation.

See, scorpions are a problem in Arizona. It's the desert and scorpions live in the desert. And, with all the new construction that was happening in the valley, alot of the scorpions were being displaced and brought into the open. Which brings them into our neighborhood. And although we spray for bugs monthly, no bug place in the entire valley will guarantee against scorpions. Scorpions and Roaches - two species that will survive the nuclear war.

Scorpions are more of a nuisance than a health issue, as their stings aren't poisonous. Except to babies and the elderly. Now that's a problem.

When Daddy was researching this issue, he came across this website to baby proof for scorpions. I thought it was unnecessary, but being as it was so important to Daddy and the scorpion safe bowls were not expensive at all, we bought some.

Thank God.

Because this is what I found in Bjorn's room. Next to the glider. Two feet from his crib.

Posted by Picasa

This is a picture of it in my trash can. After I had stepped on it about twelve times and sucked it up into the vacuum. That's a quarter next to it for size purposes. A quarter I will gladly throw away so that I don't have to reach into the trash next to a dead scorpion and fish it out. Ewww. . . gives me the heebie geebies just thinking of it.

Now tell me - how am I supposed to give my child the proper tummy time on a playmat when I can't put him on the floor for fear that another one of these will show up? How am I supposed to put him anywhere except in his crib, when I know that his crib - albeit in the room where the monster was found - is probably the only thing scorpions cannot get into?

Today's post was supposed to be about our traveling adventures with Bjorn this past weekend. That can wait. I have alot of research to do on infants and scorpions. . . . .

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Two Month Visit

It's official: Bjorn is a big, healthy, strapping boy.

Weighing in at his two-month visit yesterday at a whopping 13 pounds. Measuring 24 inches long (!!), both his height and weight put him in the 75th percentile for little boys his age.

He obviously did not get his height from this 5 foot 2 mama.

Although physically he's a big 'un, emotionally he is still a little boy.

He got his first set of vaccinations yesterday and boy did he scream!! And scream and scream. 3 shots and one dropper-full and this baby was done with doctors!

So on the way home we stopped at Walgreens and Mama ran in to buy him some baby tylenol, just as the Doc recommended.

We drove home, fed Bjorn and then Mama ran to the salon to get a much-needed haircut. Twenty minutes later a phone call from Daddy interrupts the cut.

"It's probably not ok to give Bjorn medication that says "for ages 3 and up", right?! And it doesn't even come with a dropper - only a cup!!"

Oops. Mama bought the wrong stuff. And then left Daddy alone with a screaming baby. Way to go, Mama!

Apparently, Bjorn was in a little bit of pain and wanted everyone in the next four zip codes to hear him yell about it. The whole time Mama was gettin' pretty, Daddy was pulling his own hair out at home. He finally went up to Walgreens and got the right meds and about an hour later, Bjorn calmed down.

Which is exactly when I walked in the door. Great timing.

Think I can get Daddy to stay home alone again while I go out? We'll see!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Yes, my life revolves around poop.

I never could quite understand how baby clothes could get poop all over them.

Yes, I know that sounds silly, but go with me on this.

See, they have things that catch the poop. They're called diapers. And when babies wear them, the poop is supposed to go in them, right? So what are these parents with poopy baby clothes doing? Forgetting about their kid for so long that they poop up the back, the front and the sides of the diaper? Not changing a diaper quick enough and letting the kiddo sit in his own filth?

That's gross. I would never be that kind of parent.

Oh wait. Yes I am.

Today my baby boy pooped while I was feeding him. I heard it, felt it and smelt it. He was almost done eating anyways, so I immediately went to change him and put on a fresh diaper.

It was then that I found that he had pooped out the back of his diaper. After wiping him clean I thought 'I guess I'll change his onesie. Just in case he got a little bit on it, too.'

Oh and he had.

But I didn't realize how much until I took the onesie off the only way that onesies come off. Over his head. Which dragged the poop that was halfway up his back all the way up his back. And in his hair. Behind his ears. Lost in the chub around his neck. He was pretty much covered in poop.

I changed him right after I heard and felt it.

There might have been a 30 second lapse - as it took me that long to get to his changing table. But I don't think a 5 second lapse would have made a difference. I was never a physics major, so correct if I'm wrong, but I think that force + trajectory = poop-covered baby.

Which brings us to poop-covered baby clothes. I now completely understand. Poop happens. Sometimes it happens all the way up their back.

****By the way - Spray 'n' Wash gets out everything. Yes, even ground-in baby poop. In case you were wondering. ****

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Mama Gone Wild!

My poor little guy.

He has a hurt tummy today. At least, that's what it looks like from the outside. All he's done so far today is sleep, eat, cry and scrunch his legs up to his neck so he can fart. And he does. Fart. Alot. I just hope it makes him feel better.

He also slept all the way through the night, waking only once at 1:30 am to cry. I didn't feed him though; he had kicked his legs out of his swaddle, so I wrapped his lower body in an additional blanket. I didn't hear another peep out of him until after 5 when Daddy had to wake for work.

I was very thankful Bjorn slept so much because Mama was very tired. I went out with the girls last night, and although I didn't stay out late (home by 11!!), it was later than usual. It was worth it! Just one night sans baby rejuvenates maybe not the body, but definitely the soul. I love my non-baby time - even just one night of non-baby lets me more fully appreciate the time I do have with him!!

Besides, it gave Bjorn and Daddy the chance to have a little one-on-one. It's good for both of them.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Sleep. It's whats for dinner

Everyone told me that one of the first rules of happy mommyhood is to "sleep when Baby sleeps". I never tried it and I've been quite happy.

Until today. Today I was exhausted.

See, my wonderful baby - the one that has slept through the night since the day he was brought home from the hospital - has decided that at 9 weeks old he no longer wants to sleep through the night. He wants to eat every three hours, regardless of time, and regardless of if Mama is awake or not. He wants food.

I guess I should be happy that my growing boy is growing.

I am. I'm glad he's healthy. I'm also exhausted.

So after three days and three agonizing nights of this nonsense, I decided to take the age old advice and sleep when he sleeps.

And what happened?

I got nothing accomplished and I still didn't get any rest. My naps were the kind where one eye is on the clock counting down how much sleep I could be getting right now and one ear listening to the grunts and coos of Bjorn through the baby monitor. Sigh. . . .

Sleeping when he sleeps means I have no time to do the things I want to do (read a chapter, take a bath, write a story, sew my crafty gifts) and lunch is a handful of wheat thins, some string cheese and an apple. When he's awake His Nibs wants to be held, entertained, changed, sung to and held some more.

So I guess I'll go with being exhausted. At least this way I have time to write a little blog catch-up.

Uh oh.

He's awake. . . . .

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Beat it!

Yesterday Daddy and I decided that we wanted to take Bjorn to see Cirque de Soliel. Actually, Mommy and Daddy decided that they wanted to see Cirque and Bjorn was coming along with, no matter what he wanted.

I am beat.

It was exhausting. Completely and totally exhausting. And Bjorn really didn't even do anything.

Daddy and I started the day boxing each other on the Wii. Doesn't sound like hard work, but if you've ever boxed against your spouse, you know that you will go full-blown-I-can-kick-your-asss out. I don't play harder against anyone than I do against my Hubs. (BTW - I won at boxing. But he kicked my butt at tennis. Moving on. . . . ) After a few hours of baseball and boxing on the Wii, we got Bjorn ready (he had been laughing and watching us play) and headed to lunch with friends.

Bjorn cried in the car the entire way to lunch. Then slept through lunch. Which was nice, as Mama and Daddy got to eat in peace, but we knew that there was no way he would sleep through Cirque now. But we were still gonna try.

Cirque began nicely, with Bjorn sitting quietly in Daddy's lap (with baby headphones on to muffle any noise). But at the first quiet point in the show - Bam! - he started whining. We immediately put a bottle in his mouth and he calmed waaaaaayyyy down and promptly fell asleep until intermission.

Which is when he asked for the rest of his bottle and then (as our friend Matt called it) "puke-bombed" all over Mama. All over Mama. All down the front of my dress, on the inside and outside. Yes, I had curdled milk slide all the way down and land in my belly button. Ewwwwwwwww.

After the clean-up, Daddy and I spent the second half of the show up in a booth near the top of the arena, away from all the other guests watching the show. Bjorn "puke-bomebed" all over Daddy a little while later and got so fussy that Daddy took him outside so he wouldn't disturb anyone. (Thanks Meg and Matt for being such good friends - and for at least trying to help clean up the bomb!)

And although he slept a good amount of the time, and he really didn't do anything that bad, it was exhausting. It was exhausting trying to watch him the entire show and make sure he wouldn't burst out crying while an acrobat was throwing himself across the stage harness-less. It was exhausting checking his diaper and his tummy and his hands to see if they were cold. It was exhausting for Daddy to hold Bjorn for over 2 1/2 hours because the stroller and car seat doesn't fit down aisles and in seats.

It was just plain exhausting for these new parents to take a 2 month old baby to a show that is not designed for children. Next time, we are only taking him to shows for kids - shows where he can wail and cry and it blends in with the other million children crying.

On another note, Cirque was AWESOME. This was the second Cirque show I've seen (Delirium and Saltimbanco) and it was a completely different show than the other. I recommend going to any Cirque show if you get the chance.

Just don't bring your baby. Trust me.